The Five Basic Steps of Ballet
by aeon fear
Summary: They say that love is like a dance. Coordinated, but not so-ballet is a dance that may be danced alone. However, it's lonely. Emotions color your steps, and haunt your every gaze. First Bleach fic.


Disclaimer: Ah, yes. I am not Tite Kubo-sama.

A/N: This was written at the request of a reader from another site. At this other site, I write OCxcanon character one shots. However, as this fic involves two canon characters, I decided to write it here. Enjoy...I hope.

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><p>The Five Basic Steps of Ballet<p>

_**Jealousy-**_

It's Tuesday.

It's Tuesday, and a normal day for most of the student population. Students were moaning about teachers, frantically scurrying to do long-due homework.

Inoue Orihime gazes out the window. It's one of the rare times that she wishes she was normal-able to listen to Tatsuki's chatter without half her mind flying off to worry about Hollows, shinigami, vizards, arrancar and Espada.

"Yo, Inoue."

Orihime turns, the instantly smiles: In the doorway of the classroom stood Kurosaki Ichigo, with his familiar scowl.

"Kurosaki-kun!" she greets him. "I didn't see you come in." Indeed, she had been watching the gate just for his arrival. "I thought that you wouldn't be able to go to class today."

"Are you kidding? The last thing I need is for my old man to get hauled here for too many absences," Ichigo replies.

She laughs, then scratches her head. It's a nervous habit that she picked up long ago. "Ichigo, would you-"

"We came by the roof," Kuchiki Rukia interrupts, appearing behind Ichigo. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME BEHIND?" she rants at Ichigo.

"IS IT ANY OF MY FAULT THAT YOU'RE SLOW?"

"G-Good morning, Rukia-san," Orihime mumbles. Neither shinigami hear her, for they are busy fighting with each other. Orihime sees the smiles on their faces as they argue. They hide it, but it's there.

If only Ichigo gave her even half the attention that he gives Rukia, she'd be happy until the end of her days.

With that, the cheerful, bright feeling that Orihime had briefly gotten when she saw Ichigo was extinguished, leaving a bitter taste as it went.

Orihime knows this bitter taste, had known it and had felt its touch more than once. She tries hard to suppress it, Rukia is her friend, but it flares all the brighter, until she's left feeling nothing but jealousy.

And Orihime wonders: If I were stronger, would Ichigo like me?

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><p><strong><em>Frustration<em>**

"Thanks for coming with me, Kurosaki-kun," Orihime says.

It's another day, another event. She had asked Ichigo if he could come with her to the flower shop after school.

"The Flower shop?" he had asked."What for?"

Orihime fidgets. Did he honestly not remember? "It's my brother's death anniversary," she tells him, her head hung low.

"Oh." Ichigo blinks. "Oh. I get it, I get it. Stop making that face."

Orihime looks up, surprised.

"I'll go with you."

And he smiles. Orihime finds herself smiling in return.

Ichigo did it right, as well: None of the others came. They were alone. Rukia had wanted to, but had been called away to duty at the last minute.

Orihime couldn't help but feel a bit glad. She had him to herself. Then she feels guilty.

"What kind of flowers should I get, Kurosaki-kun?" she asks him.

"I don't know," he replies. Typical of a guy.

With a small laugh, she picks up a bouquet of white lilies. "I think these will be the best."

"I'll carry them for you," Kurosaki offers. Orihime gives the flowers to Ichigo.

"You'll come with me to my brother's grave, won't you?"

"Sure I-"

Ichigo's words are cut off by the sudden sense of a nearby hollow. Ichigo hisses in frustration, and turns to Orihime. "I'm sorry, but-"

"Go." Orihime's smile is now forced. She takes the flowers back from Ichigo, almost tearing the buds off in her haste.

Ichigo nods, his eyes still on her.

"Go on, Kurosaki-kun," she repeats.

Ichigo nods once more, then he pops out of his body, leaving her with nothing.

Orihime wants to tell him, wants to shout the words: Ichigo isn't the only one frustrated.

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><p><em><strong>Happiness<strong>_

"Santen kesshun. I reject," Orihime declares, her hands moving in the now familiar gesture.

A triangle of light appears before her. Uryuu's Quincy arrows shatter upon impact.

"I didn't think that your shield could repel my arrows, Orihime," Uryuu says, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"I didn't know, either," Orihime says. She is panting with the effort of keeping her shield up.

The practice fight was one of her ongoing efforts to be strong-as strong as Rukia. She doesn't want to be a burden anymore, not someone to be protected.

This time, she wanted to be the one doing the protecting.

"Santen Kesshun! I reject," she repeats. There's a gust of wind, and it cuts like a knife: instantly Uryuu's cheek is bloody.

"I'm sorry!" she says, horrified.

Uryuu ignores his cheek, and disappears. When he reappears he's behind her, and his hand is on her neck.

"I think the winner is Uryuu," Uruhara Kisuke says dryly.

Ohihime is disappointed in herself. She knows Kisuke's coment before he says them: That if she hadb't hesitated, she might have won.

The next fight is supposed to be between Ichigo and Chad, but she doesn't notice what is going on around her.

"I'm sorry," she mutters. She walks to the sidelines, miserable. Uryuu was the enemy then. How would she ever surpass Rukia at this rate?

How will she ever be able to help Ichigo?

Someone lays a hand on her head. "It's all right," Ichigo tells her with a kind smile. "You're strong enough as it is. You hesitated because Uryuu's a friend, right?"

She nods. Speechless.

"Then that's okay."

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><p><em><strong>Worry<strong>_

Ichigo was sick.

It wasn't as if he hadn't been injured before-Orihime had seen him bleed more times than she could count. More times than she's willing to be comfortable with.

But today it isn't Hollows. Today Ichigo is sick in bed with a fever, overworked by the training that Kisuke had given him. He'd insisted that he was fine, but Kisuke ordered the substitute Shinigami to rest.

"It may be nothing," Kisuke had said, "But you can't fight in your condition."

Orihime was glad when Ichigo gave in, though he was still grumbling. As soon as they got to a spare room, Ichigo dropped onto the futon and fell into a deep sleep.

Tessai replaced the wet cloth on Ichigo's forehead. Orihime had just realized the limits of her power: she could not cure fever.

"Ichigo," she says, laying a hand on his warm cheek. Too warm.

"Ichigo sure is lucky to have friends like you," Tessai says with a smile.

"It's his damn fault for overworking himself," Renji says, though he refused to look at Ichigo's flushed face, as if the sight pained him.

"Get some rest, Orihime," Rukia says, putting an arm around her shoulder. "We don't want you to get sick next."

Orihime nods absently. "Maybe later," she replies. "Just…let me stay here a while longer."

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><p><em><strong>Love<strong>_

One person.

"You can say goobye to one person."

It's a statement that throws Orihime into a mix of emotions: helplessness, worry, frustration.

She had just been handed the price of saving her friends. Although she does not regret giving herself up for Ichigo and the others-it is too small a price to pay for their safety, really-she now wishes that she can save herself, too.

Who can she say goodbye to?

The first answer in her head is Ichigo. However, she knows that he won't let her go. He would fight for her. That was heartening, but she didn't want to be the cause of another dispute. If they battle it out in Karakura, there is no telling if the Espada will leave their city still intact.

And so she wanders around, saying goodbye to the places that she loves. All the time, she is asking herself:

Will I ever eat ice-cream with Tatsuki at that place again?

Will I buy art materials with Rukia at that store?

Will I pass by this street again, and wait up for Uryuu and Chad to go to school?

Will I visit my family's grave again?

Will I sit in the train on another day?

She knows without being told that she will never be allowed to go back. She's only met AIzen briefly, but from the talk surrounding him, kindness was not one of his faults.

In a perverse way, though, she is glad that she is able to be the protector this time. She doesn't know what Aizen wants from her powers, but Orihime promises herself to remain strong. If need be, she resolves to play along with Aizen.

She needs to live. This much she also knows.

She trails after Tatsuki for a part of the late afternoon. Tatsuki is more thoughtful-six of her classmates are absent, after all. Six including her best friend.

Orihime's eyes are sad as she watches her friend practice martial arts, at how she easily disarms her opponents. If Orihime had been watching, she'd have been cheering for Tatsuki, and Tatsuki would be showing off her grin and a thumbs-up of approval.

Orihime whispers a goodbye that she thinks Tatsuki would not hear.

/

That night, Orihime slips into Ichigo's room. Rukia is not here, she is still with her squad. Normally Orihime would be all shy and excited at being alone with Ichigo in his room, but there's nothing thrilling at looking at your long-time love that looks half-dead.

She's told herself that she wouldn't choose him, but here she was, anyway. It was impossible to stay away.

Orihime's heart breaks at the sight of the ever-powerful Ichigo motionless. He looks like a mummy, Orihime reflects, with all that bandages. It's wrong.

The moonlight is filing every corner of the room. Ichigo doesn't wake, not even when Orihime bends down and holds his injured hand.

It is the reason why Orihime allows herself this, because she has always been this way about Ichigo. Her feelings for him were always pushed back, always prevented from coming to light. Ichigo doesn't realize anything. He never has.

Her eyes fill with tears. A glance at his bedside clock tells her that the time is nearly up. The green-eyed Espada- Ulquiorra Schiffer, wasn't he?- Would be coming soon enough.

Too soon.

There's a multitude of ways that she wants to say goodbye to him, so many, in fact. Basically she wants to stay with him and not say good bye at all, period.

She touches his cheek. "Don't blame yourself, please. It was my choice."

And this is where she bends down. She hesitates, but she tells herself that she can be allowed this, MUST be allowed this. This one last small pleasure.

She kisses Ichigo. Not on the cheek, but on the lips.

A kiss that was given not as a friend.

"I want you to remember, Kurosaki-kun," she breathes into his ear.

Her tears finally escape. They fall on Ichigo's cheek.

Maybe, Ichigo would remember the touch of her lips. Maybe. She doubts it, though.

"Goodbye, Ichigo."

_Goodbye halcyon days. _

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><p><em>AN: _Please review? This is my first bleach fic at this site. I'd love to know how I did. Pretty Please with Kenny-chan's bells on top!

Comments, suggestions, and Critiques are welcomed.

Thank you so much for reading!

a shoutout to the one who requested this: hello, zarethechips9! at loooong last, right? Haha. You can message me at the site or leave a review in here to tell me what you thought about it.


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